ugh, I know justin says that dreams come true, I know many people says that. BUT GUESS WHAT? not me. I will never have my dreams come true never. why? cos life hates me. fate hates me. its just unfair. My heart is tearing apart and my tears can't stop rolling down. I don't want to think positive anymore. You know why? because everytime I try to be a good person, a good child, a good friend, a good human... life knocks me down. I am going to slash my wrist. Whateever if its bad, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I DON'T.

I know I have not been posting for a while now, so I'm just gonna blabber in this blog. So... went to little India yesterday ;) With Divya, and since it was deepavali eve's the place was PACK. Not as bad though, at least i can still walk and not being push (well, most of the times at least). Divya bought for me Ladu which is a candy. Walk around to get a few of Divya's stuff and then we went to have lunch, I had Briyani. It was splendid. End up not finishing it cos it was a HUGE serving. Then we went to get a few more stuff and then Divya went to do her henna. It was very tempting for me. I wanted to do it but I'm afraid that its against the policy for my job. And yes I have A FREAKING JOB :D

*happydance*

Just received an email about the schedules and everything. Working only 3 days for next week. It's ok. (: Tomorrow its the job training. Mum is sending me to the place, its a very "scary" location for a office. meh. Wish me luck.

BTW... had an amazing outing with Ifa last wednesday. More pics at fb. (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1305117461)

Get well soon Demetria Devonne Lovato.

You are so beautiful and I hope you know that.

"cos everyone's perfect in unusual ways"

<3 your fan

I just want to kill myself and just die. I want to run away. I want to shout. I want to scream. I want to run away so bad. I want to just run so that I don't have to be your burden anymore. I just want to jump down. I just want to disappear. fuck you. fuck you for telling me to be myself but you never let me be myself. fuck you that you tell me that you love me cos you don't. fuck you for everything. fuck you. fuck you.

Bye

ahhhh. I'm sorry I abandon you! :'(

The truth is that I have no idea what to blog. My life is BORING. So, till I got something inneresting to post about I will not be posting.

Bitter heart

Is this shoes to die for or what?

So I'm currently out of cash due to the justin book, not complaining... ok, maybe a weee bit. But it was worth it. Oh my gosh guys, it's so boring at home today. It's like the LONGEST day EVER, EVER! I was so glad sis was talking to her boyf and let me have the computer to myself. I am officially an owl. I sleep in the morning and awake in the night time. Scary huh? lol. I revamp my walls today, gonna take pix tomorrow and put it here. It's not special or anything but among all the "renovation" I had for the "poster" wall, this is my favourite.

I'm having loads of stomach ache lately... not cool.

Go with the flow

That last post was stupid, I don't know why am I even consider putting that. Like I can't even look at his face now without being so defensive towards myself. Fcuk him.

Anyway, I am feeling lousy today. Sis came back, I know you might think that's great right? well not actually. Mum suggested us going to the zoo and I suggested to visit the animals at SPCA, but I'm cool with the zoo. It's been a while I've been there. Wait, I have never been there. Out of topic, so I ask my sis about it and before I could finish my sentence she just said that she was tired and wanted to sleep till noon tomorrow. Great. Just great.

And ask my friends whether it'll be cool if we hang out next week. You know, just to hang around the beach and eat Long John Silver or just eat Ben and Jerry and talk. But I guess they are more willing to go around town aka malls. I'm not being critical here but sometimes I want things to go my way at times without failing it. Like for example planning things without feeling that it won't come true. It's sad. And everytime I wanna hangout my way, things always go weird. But whatever, there must be a reason behind all of this. I hope.